6:02 p.m. - 2001-07-28
Silliness, Laziness, and Patheticness
They are my deadly sins. Even the Procratinationness that I failed to list is an evil wicked thing. I don't care if its not a word, or not used properly. It's *my* word, so deal with it.
Why do I do nice things, then live to regret them?
Why am I led by my feelings and not by my brain?
Why am I bored easily?
Why do I feel the need to work at a shithole for little money, lots of stress, and bugbites galore?
Why do I feel insignificant?
Why do I have no talent?
Why am I lacking?
What am I lacking?
I think I'm done.
My mind is whirring at terrific speeds today. You'd think that my 4 hour nap would've solved that. When I'm bored, I sleep. When I'm bored, I eat... everything. When I'm bored, I don't want to do anything.
Self-proclaimed pity party has ended for *now*.
I want to be 19 again. I want to have long hair. I want to be single, un-mommified, a non-pet owner, a non-college loan possesser, a non-car payment person, and someone who doesn't give two shits.
Would I want to transgress?
Just for the weekend.
Why do men hit on you when you're taken? Why do men avoid you when you're single? Why do women play games with men? Why do I ask so many damned questions?
My God I'm selfish and pathetic today. I want to walk on the beach alone watching the waves AT night. I told my husb. I want to goto the beach. (We call it the "Shore.") He said pack, we'll stay at his mom's. What do we do w/ the dog? NICE! I wont dump her off on neighbors. I wont bring her b/c his mom is AFRAID of a lil shihtzu (she weighs all of 17 lbs and couldn't or wouldn't bite anything but her lil nuggets of food). Yet, she fears this dog. I dunno. I kinda think the dog looks like a wookie, but that's about it. She's about as intimidating as the Chipmunks on Tour.
Now, NO frigging shore.
I like these dashes, dont you?
I dunno... I'm NOT depressed. I'm BORED. B-O-R-E-D
Freakin boredom will be the death of me (NOT LITERALLY).
**Disclaimer: Friends. Do not think I'm depressed. All knives are IN their respective drawers. All chemicals and prescription drugs are in an inconvenient location. Never fear. I love life. I'm afraid of death. I won't do a thing.
I"M JUST BORED SHITLESS.