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3:14 p.m. - Friday, Dec. 21, 2001
Karaoke hell part 1

XMAS BREAK, Let the sleep begin!!

I am SO excited to have 11 days off. I have spent the past few weeks w/ the Bastard Offspring of Satan. (BOS) I have endured talking during their open NOTEBOOK TESTS today... ZERO. I don't care. No notebook? ZERO. No pen? ZERO. Whining? Zero.

I love being me.

I hate being me, however, when parents call to whine about their kids' homework/research papers/tests. I love when they call to ask how they're doing and whatnot. I hate it when they call to give me shit and request conferences to give me shit b/c their kid isn't doing their share.

I give them notes. I give them handouts. I give them over a week notice on "most" tests (cept today). I give them notice on stupid POP QUIZZES for chrissakes.

I get a phonecall today from a parent of an honor's student. She was upset that I won't let her kid use the Internet for the term paper. I told her... their library skills need tweeking. With all this Internet stuff, the kids forgot how to use the library. So, the English teacher and I (we're making them write ONE paper for our classes....and we'll both grade it) decided to make them use the library. I even listed 6 libraries they could use (all w/in 15 minutes of home).


What do I hear? The same exact shit the kids whined about... "What about encartaaaaaaaaa cdddddddd?"

"No. Absolutely not."

"But whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?"

"Because *I* said no. Because the English teacher said no. Its OUR paper to assign, don't tell me how to teach."

*Pain in the asses, I tell ya*

Then.. I get 2 more calls... I LOVED THESE CALLS... *rolls her eyes* One was fine. The mom is great. I love her kid. The other one whined about her daughter not making the HIGH HONOR ROLL. Well, maybe if your daughter challenged herself instead of expecting to receive an A, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

Isn't that always the way? The ones that are doing fine call... the ones who fail or are behavior problems, I never hear from the parents. Is that my fault? Hardly.

So... Did I mention how happy I am to be able to sleep in every day, play Playstation, stay up late, and do whatever in the hell I want for 11 days??

I love this. I've waited for this since September. Time is flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyying by. This is awesome.Nothing any parents have said today will ruin my awesomely wonderous mood. I love it right now...


So, we'll see...

Last night, before I forget to mention this, we had our faculty Xmas party. My boss, the buttmuncher that he is, hired a karaoke machine w/ my dj's for the prom. SO... I'm reliving the "I Will Survive" moment from last year's talent show... and he pleaded w/ me to sing it in front of all these wonderful ppl I work with. I'm totally stage frightened. I don't like to sing outside of my private zone. yes, I've done karaoke many times...but that's in front of my friends and no one that I work with. That's my rule since I embarassed myself last year. NO embarassing myself this year.

What happened?

Well... for 1 1/2 hours my SUPERINTENDENT/PRINCIPAL bossman-buttmuncher does this: "pleaaaaaaaaaaaase pleaaaaaaaaaaaase sing... I'm on bended knee (he knelt down).....pleaaaaaaaasssssseeeeeeee" then proceeded to start chanting my name, which soon caught on to everyone else. I walk out of the room to the bar. I smoke, drink, and cry. I was so totally embarassed. Normally, I'd have jumped up and sang. For some reason I couldn't. He had tormented me all week about the party. I threatened the dj by telling him I wouldn't hire him if he put my name on the list. (Guess who's unemployed?) Three times the boss did this to me (or more, I was so embarassed that I blocked it all out). I also didn't plan on drinking a lot (2 1/2 drinks...aren't ya proud??).

The final straw: Bossman buttmuncher says (while in the bar, while I'm clinging to the bar w/ all my might), "I'll do anything if you go up and sing." (he's under this sick dillusion that I actually CAN sing...tho I doubt that he really understands that even if I can, and I don't think I can, I can't... not under pressure, not w/ ppl I work with... ya know?)

Again, I'm almost near tears. I've walked out three times b/c I'm ready to cry. I'm totally embarassed, feeling pressured, and I just cried at the bar w/ another teacher telling me not to go sing, that I didn't have to and how uncool it was for him to embarass me like that. (He doesn't take NO for an answer.)

Then, I have ppl telling me how embarassed he'll be b/c he was on his KNEES begging me in front of everyone... (We both were in that damned teacher-talent night....I was suckered into it, he went willingly. I sang, "I will survive" dressed in a multicolored moomoo and big pink sunglasses. He sang some Frank Sinatra song dressed in a tux w/ a stogie.)

Since then, he's bugged me to sing it again. I can't. It took everything in me not to throw up on the stage that night. Why is this day any different?

So, I finally can't take the begging. I tell him that I'll sing if he promises, in writing, to do something for me. He said "anything" (which was his mistake). I said, "I want my own class room, with windows, for every period I teach, including at least 1 prep." He said, "I am here in front of the whole faculty. I promise to give you your own room, with windows next year." (I got it in writing on a cocktail napkin just in case he tries to do what he did to me this year.)

Ok. So, I went up. Almost crying. Dragged up two friends to be my backup dancers. (This made me laugh more...b/c they are so twitish...) Before I start to sing, I turn around to the djs and said, and I quote, "erase this from your memory. If you ever mention this again, I will kill you with your own microphone." (he looked scared, really.)

I sang the damned fucking song. (i'm not a karaoke virgin, btw) I sang it admist my laughing and near puking. He was giggling like a giddy schoolgirl. He was cracking me up. I laughed 1/2 way through the song. I blame him and the fucking math teachers I dragged up w/ me. They can't dance. They were doing the "swim" or some oldies dance. Everyone's trashed BUT me. (I knew I should've drank more.)

I manage through this song, butchering it. I get, no lie, STANDING OVATIONS. I left the room for the bar and cried. (I dunno why. I just did. Blame stress.)

He thanked me. he said he loves when I sing. I told him he's a sloppy drunk and I want more money. He laughed and offered to buy me a drink. I decline because I decided NOT to get drunk again.


SO, I survived and now it's Xmas break. So, I'll continue the saga of "G suffers thru karaoke all for the sake of a classroom..." tomorrow

(To be continued...)


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