(For those of you who weren't sitting here when my diary obliterated MY entry in MID-ENTRY... that's what happened.)

I'm HUNGOVER people... from a mad mixture of marguaritas, corona, mini-cigar things, and cigarettes... and I feel a bit like I just climbed out of a metal box buried under something dead.

Fun, right?

Needless to say, I'm going to ONCE AGAIN try to recapture the lost moments that were painstakenly written out for YOU... because I'm all caring and shit.

Dammit, that just SO ruined my rhythm...

Anyway, Thursday night was M-girl and Assface's moment on the hotseat and I wasn't going to miss EITHER.

Mostly, I was nice to M-girl... however, Assface was a whole other story...

Wednesday night, he wanted me to skip class to attend some Holocaust thing. Thursday night, he was SHOCKED to see me when I walked into the room.

"Hey, [Her-Story], aren't you supposed to be at that Holocaust thing?"

"No... why?"

"Well, cuz it's about women..."

"I told you last night that I wasn't missing tonight for all the money in the world..."

And, I swear he mumbled "dammit" under his breath.

Anyway, I wanted to see how M-girl reacted to her public flogging since she was the one who said, "I'm SO used to it that it doesn't bother me when everyone rips my paper apart."

Really now... that's interesting. Because as soon as the ripping began, she tried to justify her errors by blaming it on the department chair, "Well, Professor Recliner said it was FINE..."

(Yeah, I tried that last week and it really didn't get me very far...)

Then, ex-Marine and I were playing hangman, pretending to be attentive... and M-girl looks across the table and blurts out, "You two are SO mean to me..."

"Huh?" We both blurt out... because honestly, I was bored and he does what I tell him to do... that's the relationship we have. Now if he'd only stop groping me in class, we'd have the PERFECT relationship.

Then, with tears in her eyes (seriously) she yells at Assface, "What are YOU smirking at??"

(Damn, I guess getting your paper critiqued IS a personal thing, huh?)

"I'm just wondering what Her-Story is gonna do to MY paper..."

(What? I was TRYING to explain to M-Girl that she needed to clarify something ethnic about her paper when Prof. Weasle jumped in to continue his bashing for about 25 minutes or so, which is when I began to play hangman with my ex-Marine bitch... *grins*)

When they finished w/ M-Girl's paper, she looked sad and downtrodden... kinda like... ME last week. ("Her-Story, you take this entirely TOO seriously..." is what she so arrogantly blurted out to me 40,298 times since last Thursday.)

And good for her... just goes to prove that NONE of us take criticism well.

Anyway, I hop up out of my seat and head over to the bathroom across the hall when I hear, "Her-Story... Hey"

It was Assface, trying to get my attention with what my mother would call, the "Hay is for horses" attention-getter.

"Hey what?"

"Remember all the things I've said to you over the past few weeks??"

"Uh, yeah... why?"

"Can you forget them all?"

"Even that one nice thing?"

"No, you can remember that one."

"So, let me get this straight," as I tried to compose myself to a) not pee myself and b) not pee myself from LAUGHING, "You want me to forget all of the shit you've been giving me just before YOUR shining moment on the hotseat?"

"YEAH..."

"No... fat fucking chance cupcake... I've been waiting for this ALL semester."

Then I turned to M-girl and blurted out, "I'm going to the can to take a squirt" (as a dedication to the crazy bitch I used to work with many moons ago) just...as....Prof. Weasle...entered...the...hallway.

Great.
Not only do I suck at writing, but now I'm crude and vulgar.

(Well, I do aim to please...)

Assface's hotseat lasted a total of 118 minutes, which was longer than mine. A LOT longer than mine. And, I really didn't have to do a whole lot to get Prof. Weasle all up in his grill about his writing.

*GRINS*

Like... begin my comments with, "I have to say, I've never seen SO MANY hyphens and colons used in a paragraph before..." and "My biggest pet peeve is..." and "Is there any 'original thought' in your paper..." without Prof. Weasle taking the stick and running with it.

*bows*

By the 100th minute, Assface was pale, pasty, and about to cry.

*bows*

And, the entire time I was neither mean nor rude to him directly.

(Notice, I said directly...)

Anyway, I think SOMEONE learned his lesson about attacking MOI... *grins*

By the way, Prof. Weasle did redeem himself by telling me that he has higher hopes for me (and J-boy) than most of the people in the class. WHOOOP WHOOOP FOR ME... right?