Since I sometimes tend to PLAY with my food before eating it (*winks @ radiogurl), I thought about the possible rammifications of completely humiliating two young grad students in front of E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E... and, well, its not completely beneath me to do that to make a point, I save those moments for completely necessary and appropriate times. I think the amount of times I've publicly chastised someone in order to knock them down a few notches on the human feeding chain probably amounts to about 20. In *coughs*30-something*coughs* years, that's not too shabby. Maybe its more, come to think about it, from the days of undergrad... hmm... well, ANYWAY.

I have options, and since the little hamster in my brain ceases to STOP moving, I was thinking about how I would fix this situation. These are my options:

a. Pull them aside and speak to them individually.
(problem: M-girl will completely BLOW things out of proportion, tell EVERYONE (profs included) that I screamed at her and made her cry. Sure, I may make her cry, but I don't plan on screaming. The best tool is speaking very quietly, intently, and deliberately, so screaming isn't an option when making a definite POINT.)

b. Pull them aside and speak to them TOGETHER
(problem: The same as above except add the uber-excitement (i.e. exaggerated aggression) of J-boy as he retaliates to my "speaking to them" with "WELL... YOU don't seem to UNDERSTAND..." and frankly, who needs that shit? I hear enough of it on Tuesdays.)
(benefit: I could make them squirm a bit by beginning with, "I wanted to talk to you about something that's been on my mind... something that refers to you both..." and I KNOW that M-girl would pee herself right there thinking that I was spilling the beans about whateverthefuck their relationship is/was/is. But, damn, it would be completely funny!)

c. make snarky comments about J-boy being an arrogant slog and a know-it-all egomaniac and M-girl as, well, a ridiculously immature slut... but that may reinforce the whole "Her-Story is this evil mean-spirited violent bitch." Granted, at times I wanna jam my pen into their foreheads, but that doesn't necessarily make me evil. Does it?
(problem: Again, I'm trying to graduate here, if I rock the boat TOO much, I may burn bridges... not regarding J-boy or M-girl, but with the professors that I completely respect... and some of whom I partially respect or lack respect for but act cordially to... ya know?)

d. I glare, flare my nostrils, and draw pictures of nooses and ice picks. I'm pretty sure imagery like that would make SOMEONE cry. (And, it wouldn't be me.)

and finally,

e. I just ignore them and move on with life. I've been called worse than a bitch before... and I am my mother's daughter... my mother is known for her occasional insane-maleovent-bitch moments... why wouldn't the same be expected of me?

Anyway, so to put a little vinegar in the wound... LAST night before logging off my computer, I got a hold of M-girl online and asked,
"Are you going to be there tomorrow?"
(meaning, the interview thing)
"Yeah, both J-boy and I will be."
"Good, I want to talk to you both tomorrow afterwards."
(I can imagine her squirming in her seat, her heart RACING...)
"Um, you're not telling him that you know are you?!?"
(Then, I thought... hmmm... how would I address that and STILL make her seethe about it all day)
"Nope"
"Well, what's it about?"
"Stuff"
"What kind?"
"Have to goto bed, talk to you both tomorrow AFTER the interview."

And before she could respond, I logged off of my AIM acct and cackled like a ... like a ... child-eating, wart-covered, cauldron-stirring, broomstick- riding, black cat-owning WITCH.

And, apparently I was loud enough to WAKE E from his recliner-chain slumber...

*rubs hands together*

Don't worry folks, I'll keep you ALL abreast of...