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8:58 p.m. - 2001-08-21 Countdown and Sleepless NightsI still can't sleep at night. I don't know what it is. Hmm... (I'm also a bit down lately, too. Do you think its that lack of hormones a woman could have years previous to menopause? *THIS* is what I get for watching commercials about hormone replacements...) Anyways. My son left w/ his spermdonor today on vacation. They flew to Fla for a week of torrential downpours thanks to the "C" Hurricane (Can't spell it, just know it exists). Btw, never EVER watch "Final Destination" if you ever plan on flying anywhere. I watched it and now I can't fly. It collaborated my feelings about flying from my BAD experience on Spirit Airlines (sorry, but I have to say this)... Flying Spirit took the spirit out of me. First of all, bouncing and dropping in an airplane put visions of me being picked up w/ a spatula and being scooped into a plastic baggie through my mind and second, I was scared shitless. That happened BOTH ways. To top it off, the flight going home was late. We all sat in the airport for 6 hours waiting for it. When we got ON the plane, we were snickered and tired. The stewardesses looked wary and some big fat Cuban started a fight w/ 2 guys. Needless to say, that was the last flight I took (and that was over 2 years ago). So... In summation: Flying and me don't mix well. We'll see. I'm being invited to Cancun next summer w/ my parents. I'll take some sort of drug to dull my senses or something. It won't be too bad b/c I'll be w/ everyone. If I'm going to die, let it be w/ my family w/ me. This way, I won't have to go through life regretting letting them on a plane and me be the only survivor. Ugh. Not the best thought, but hell... its mine. Now I have 5 days w/o my son. Knowing he's with the blithe of my existence doesn't thrill me. Also knowing that he's visiting satan's child's family REALLY doesn't thrill me. I can't wait for the boy to come home. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel better. Night all. � 
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