4:27 p.m. - Friday, Sept. 14, 2001
day 4

Day 4, the day after the day after the day after

And you'd think by now that I'd feel less edgy. no. not really. I'm tired, nervous, and everytime I see a jet fly by, I get a knot in my stomach.

Today at school, everyone was in red/white/blue....those who weren't soon were decorated w/ flag ribbons donated by the local legions. Tonite, at 7pm, people are lighting candles.

Tonite at 7pm, I'll be working at the ONLY concert this season.

I talked to one of the school counselors today. I told her I'm feeling something akin to PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). I'm afraid of planes. The storm last night (not knowing we were having one b/c I was in the basement emailing friends), that put out our lights for 15 minutes, made me nervous. instead of saying, "Oh it was the storm," we're thinking "OMG now what??"

i'm noticing that everyday things I wouldn't normally pay attention to, bother me/make me cautious/make me suspicious. that can't be normal.

All this sudden patriotism is amazing yet sad. It takes a national tragedy for people to band together and display flags, wear the colors they are supposed to be proud of. More people than usual are watching the news. More than average amts of people are buying papers. Everyone's interested in what a few emotional-laden-media-control-freaks have to say. I err on the caution of sanity when I say this...

the US Media, moreso than others, have the tendancy to play with our emotions. No matter what's going on in the world or the US, they make it an emotional plea. The media lost favor with the American public around the Vietnam war b/c of its display of violence on tv. We blame the media for desensitizing our kids and ourselves. They aren't always accurate. Hell, even the weather reports leave a lot to be desired. I'm losing faith, not in my country, but in the media and their obligation to report TRUTH and FACTS rather than presumptions, guesses, and assumptions.

Maybe its because I'm not trusting a lot of people right now with all that's going on, but, I really think the media tells us too much sometimes.

Do we need to know were the VP is now? NO!! not if we want him alive for any amount of time. Do we want to know that the Pres is in NYC now? NO!!!

Why do I say that? Well, isn't it obvious? If WE know where they are... then the sadistic bastards who did this TO us will also know where he is (as if they wouldn't know anyways)... and not only them, but the hundreds of copycat bastages who think that this event is worthy of mooching off of. Those are the ones I despise. They are gaining popularity and attention through a tragedy that shouldn't give it to them.

That's why I blame the media for making me stressed and upset.

damn reports.

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