4:15 p.m. - 2001-05-23
Becoming Insane, its so Appropriate
Ok, I've realized something. The previous post should prove that also. I'm losing whatever miniscule (sp) part of my brain that remains. It's gone. Bye bye. History.
I'm even breaking out into fits of laughter, followed by bitchiness. I have a feeling it has to do w/ the end of the school year. (Do I hear a cheer?)
I FINISHED my US I final. I have yet to start my Behavioral Science Final. I think that since I'm so easy going (less constructive and confined) in BS (love that acro), that I might give them a short m/choice test followed by analysiseseses of things we've covered.
My US I classes are getting part takehome and part takehere. They have been rude, nasty, bitchy, nonresponsive, and altogether annoying. I put an edge on my final. I used REAL INFORMATION they've learned.
I'm not intentionally going to fail them. I am going to host a "study for finals" week after school (2-3 days) in which I will help them use various techniques to remember and recall. I figure, if they don't know it by NOW, I can't bring it out of them in 2 weeks.
Btw, we get out June 20th...there's not much time left. All I have left to teach is CIVIL WAR and CRIME (two different classes). Even my more sedate (and I use this term loosely) students are on edge.
I'm on edge b/c its that TIME of the month, and I'm always a raging bitch then. I don't yell at them, persay, I "warn" them that I'm more volatile this week. You'd think they'd catch on BY NOW. But, alas, dear readers, they aren't the brightest lightbulbs in the box.
But someone has to love em.
And, under normal (less stressful) times, I love them lots. Right now, I'm sick to death of them and want them out of my sight. We have the most disrespectful kids.
Today, for instance... I was asking them a question about slavery (to prepare them for the lesson)...
a girl (who q'd out of all her classes already) said..."ya know Mrs. R? This class totally sucks."
I have achieved something I never thought I'd get. Recognition. I feel so honored.
I smiled, in retort, and said, "Thank you." Then I continued.
This isn't the first time. These kids DO NOT WANT TO WORK, and I will not "play" w/ them....this is h.s. I am preparing them for life. That's what the superintendent told me at my interview. That, and, other inappropriate-wanted-to-rip-his-throat-out comments that he should've gotten in trouble for...BUT HE'S RETIRING...YEY!
So, this SAME girl...(she's normally not a problem...but I know why she's acting up)...said to MY BRAND NEW STUDENT (whom I happen to like so far), "oh god, you're gonna hate her, she's a bitch."
I hear everything. I'm omnipotent, all-knowing, all-seeing. They always get caught. *Snickers*
I turned around and said, "now is that nice to say about your most favorite teacher that you WILL have again next year?"
She shut up.
Then I said, "S, meet me in the hall please."
In the hall, I asked her questions. I kinda know what's going on w/ her. Her boyfriend's in jail (his goal in life, to remain intact upon release), and won't be graduating w/ his class. (Something about a death threat and him being 18...) I asked her, "S, what's up? You NEVER give me a hard time. I thought we were good." She looked REALLY uncomfortable...knowing I only take ya into the hall to give you a pile of shit for acting up. She shrugged and said, "I dunno, yeah, we do." So, prying as I do, I said, "I really don't appreciate you taking stuff out on me. I want to see you succeed, not fail. It kills me that you don't care anymore. Do me a favor, ok? Play nice w/ me til the end of school." She agreed, smiled half-heartedly, and slumped back into class.
Within seconds......BANG ZOOM.......she was at it again. I would move this new girl, but there's NO ONE in this class that she could learn good things from. It's my version of Harry Senate's dungeon. Except, I'm on the second floor. NO one wants these kids. I compliment them, they go to sleep. I try to excite them, they bitch about having to do work. I give them homework to enrich their writing skills, they bitch about me giving them work. When it comes down to brass tacks.....I've realized one thing:
There's no way to explain it. The principal was astonished. He's seen me teach (still waiting for THAT observation....it's only 2 months late). HE said I'm not that boring (hehe).
I find cool things online for them. I find neat pictures for them to see (cotton gin, for example. I've never seen one...and we were talking about it and the question came up about what in the HELL it looked like).
I also ripped this class a big huge asshole. I'm tired of the whining, being nasty, and general insubordination. Write ups and detentions aren't cutting it. I'm getting to the point where consistency doesn't work. I'm tired, frustrated, and want to smack MY OWN kids...(but I won't, cuz I LOVE THEM).
The sub teacher I've had for 2 days in the past 2 weeks is a nice kid (21). THe kids in my first period mock her (did I mention this before)? So, I said to them today, "I want to be upfront w/ you all. I've been hearing some things that aren't making me happy. First of all, I know what happened when the sub was here last week. I know, w/o saying names, who insulted her and mocked her disability. I don't want to punish the whole class for this, but I will if this happens again tomorrow (I'm gonna be at a seminar w/ my friend, the math teacher), you ALL will reap the rewards."
Just like that they all starting spilling their guts.
You just HAVE to love rats eating their young. They will never make good informants and the can never play poker, if u know what I mean.
It came down to this... EVERYONE told me what I already knew. These two BOYS (not men, not by a longshot) were sitting in the back, MAKING FUN OF MY SUB b/c she can't hear (she lost 65% of her hearing as a kid). The girls were angry b/c they LIKE her. EVERYONE LOVES HER. She's one of those subs that everyone wants to be around. 'Cept, she can't hear. And they can't say I didn't warn them. Twice, if not more. Tap her on the shoulder if she's not facing you. LEt her see your face when you talk. Talk slowly but not over-enunciating so as to insult her. Be kind. Be mature. And, most definitely, DO NOT EMBARASS YOUR MOTHERS. (That one gets them too, b/c I'm on a first name w/ most of their moms by now.)
What do I hear from the two guilty people?
J: "I didn't do a fucking thing!"
L: "Well, she's an idiot."
Lovely. I feel as tho I've failed. Tho maybe not. Everyone else DID rat on them. BIG TIME. It was almost TOO MUCH fun to watch. Hehe. I'm proud of them b/c they told me w/o lying. I'm disappointed b/c it took me threatening their freedom before they told me. (I also told them we can finish the year one of two ways: Good, happy to be finished, w/ not so bad memories of the year. OR Bad, w/ me TALKING and NO movie (they love movies, sheesh). That's when they spilled their guts.
Gotta love will power.
Ok, I have to go on my trip. You all enjoy.
Sorry I'm not making much sense. Maybe a day w/o kids will help me to relax. I'm tired. Yuck. I have an hour plus drive ahead of me. Luckkkkkkkkkkky me.
Tah tah for now