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10:36 a.m. - Friday, Jun. 25, 2004
Unlike reality, stupidity is inescapable
Unlike reality, stupidity is inescapableI haven't been in the dating scene for sometime now, but a few years ago, a guy I worked with threw some one-liners at me that made him look ridiculous. As a matter of fact, a few years ago (maybe 4 or 5) my friend and I compiled a list called, "Stupid Pickup Lines Men Use." I have to say, after polling women and men (some we knew and some we didn't), it was interesting to see what kind of pickup lines were used, which worked and which did not. Here's a list of some of the ones I could remember, plus some new ones... Feel free to add a few in my notes section or guestbook. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name. Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street. Nice shoes, wanna fuck?Hey baby come sit on my lap and we'll talk about whatever pops upDid it hurt when you fell from heaven?I forgot my phone number. Can I have yours?Your ass is like a mirror, I can see myself in your pants.Your father must have been a thief. He stole the stars and put them in your eyes.Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?I saw your picture in the dictionary today...next to the word 'beautiful'.Do you know what would look absolutely terrific on you? Me.Will you lend me 35 cents? Because I told my parents I'd call them when I found true love.Do you have 10 minutes? Cause I only need 9.My friends over there bet I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with their money?Did the sun just come out, or did you just smile at me?Let me check your tag (on her top) to see if it says, 'Made in Heaven.'And, our most favorite: Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in your pants...Now, to be fair, I looked up pickup lines that women use on men, but to be honest, I couldn't. Every one of my single girl friends has said that the men are the cheesy line givers. (If I'm wrong, lemme know...) However, after a search online, I found the CHEESIEST place to find stupid pickup lines FOR men BY women. Ready? Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.Do you have a Band-Aid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you.I may not be Wilma, but I can sure make your bedrock. Do these look real? Can I have a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?You know, sweetie, my lips won't just kiss themselves... I like your pants, but they'd look better on my bedroom floor. and, Hi. [Because apparently it doesn't take much to get a guy in bed.]And, because I'm focused on this topic, I'm going to give you all these parting gifts to use at your will (but, sorry, they can't be redeemed with me): 
Your Heart is Red
What Color is Your Heart?
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